Don't Burn Your Toast

“Don’t Burn Your Toast.” That’s the title of a little book I wrote for my daughter a few years ago. It’s a collection of short pieces of advice from a father to his daughter. I think most parents have had thoughts of lessons, regrets, and success in life that you wanted to share with your kids. Like Rod Stewart sang to us, “I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger.” That’s what the book is.

I gave it the title, “Don’t Burn Your Toast”, because the biggest lesson I wanted to get across to her is to be mindful, to live in the moment, to release attachment to the outcome of her work, her actions. Just be. 

This is a recurring lesson for me. 

Yoda said, “Do or do not, there is no try.” Most of us thought he was telling Luke to keep going until he succeeded, that there is no trying, no failing, only the relentless pursuit of success. I now see it a different way. As long as Luke was trying, he wasn’t doing, he wasn’t in the moment with The Force and his X-Wing sunk deep in the bogs of Dagobah (I love that my spell check knows this word).

While reading the work of my spiritual guide, Ram Dass, I came across a quote/lesson from Gurdjieff: “If you can serve a cup of tea properly, you can do anything.” The point there is one needs to be in the moment of making the tea, not thinking about drinking the tea or the appreciation of others for the fine beverage. 

Along the same lines, I say, “Don’t burn your toast.” Be with the bread, the toaster, in the moment. Hear the bread crackling, the toaster adjusting to its new temperature, the pop of the finished treat. Be in the moment as you butter your toast and as you savor it, maybe with a cup of tea, served properly.

When we can avoid burning our toast, serve a cup of tea properly, and work (do) without trying, then we are being mindful, living in the moment. Mindfulness gives us great insight into our minds and bodies and spirits. That allows us to be open and vulnerable. That enables us to talk openly about our situations, our feelings. That breaks stigmas. And that might just save lives. At the very least, it helps build resilient teams that lift each other up.

All of that, by just not burning our toast.